"hi, my name is Kasey and I am a recovering addict"
Today I went to an NA meeting and heard something that I thought was funny and that I could relate to it....so funny in fact that I am stopping what I am doing to write it out...or I will forget I even heard it...This guy says he saw a poster about PATIENCE and on it sat two vultures sitting on a cactus in the middle of a barren desert.....It said FUCK PATIENCE I want to go kill something RIGHT NOW!!! get it??? If you do you will see why I thought this is hilarious, but then again I have an "off-beat" sense of humor.... Vultures live off of DEAD animals...and they didn't want to wait for something to die to eat their next meal!! Yeah yeah yeah I know it's sick right?? But in it's own way so is where I am at in my life...I'm soooo tired of WAITING!!! I am waiting for the day to come when my kids come home to me, I am waiting for the day that never comes....I am waiting to be perfect.....by the way who really is perfect?? I am still waiting to find that one out! I know that GOD is perfect and that we were made in His image....and that we spend our entire lives striving to meet HIM and to be PERFECT...but there is no way to tell when and if you ever get there until you are dead and He says "Well Done, my good and faithful servant".
I am so frustrated today, it seems like the minute I think or feel that I am getting somewhere in my life of up hill battles, the minute that I think I am getting towards the top of yet another hill someone knocks my feet right out from undeneath me, or I begin to slip and slide backwards because my worn out shoes have finally lost there tread...IT IS ALWAYS SOMETHING!!! Something that gets in my way...I am so tired of the way things are right now..."I don't know what's wrong, it's like I'm too far gone, it doesn't matter anyway. Fear is in my heart, just when I stop it starts and I can never live this way" is what they say in a Stonesour song that I really like. It's the chorus and this is how I feel like EVERYDAY!!! The whole CD is how I feel constantly, it's the CD with "i'm looking at you through the glass, I don't know how much time has passed, but it feels like forever and forever feels like home sitting all alone inside my head" I feel so mis-understood ALL THE FUCKING TIME... most people don't realize one MAJOR thing about me: I see 3 different perspectives on things..actually 4... MY point of view, YOUR point of view, HOW THINGS ACTUALLY ARE, and how GOD might see things...I hate this sometimes because I wish other people were more like me in this regard, life might be a little easier when it comes to managing the different relationships in my life!!
ANYWAYS, I am done boring you to death, it's a great day to be clean and sober, and with that I will pass....
Just kidding...this is how I would end my discussion at my NA meeting...it's habit for me to say that as i finish up talking at the "tables"....hope you weren't too lost with this blog post and if you were, well sorry, but thats just the complexity I call ME!! Please leave me a comment if you actually read this!! I would really appreciate it THANKS
-->Kasey<--
About Me
- kkrazybiotch
- I am a 28 year old female who has been through a lot of bullshit so far in my life...I have 3 beautiful children 6 and 7 and my son is 5 yr.s old...I have been married for three years and divorced for four years...I am a very blunt in your face kind of person...which CAN be good OR bad depending on the situation I am in. I love to write, draw, paint, create many types of jewelry and of course PLAY WITH MY LAPTOP COMPUTER!! I do not work because I am severely disabled by my MANY emotional disorders which have gotten WAY worse!! I am also a GOD fearing Christian who goes to church on a regular basis..leave me some comments on my blogs and tell me what you think k??
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